~~~ Social Media Addition Trigger. Unhealthy attachment programming to a sense of community. Womb/Sacrificial Mother healing. Rising Above journal prompts. The High Priestess. ~~~
Working through a flag/niggle which was catalysed by this - being on social media too much. my sister's consciousness came to me in my waking minutes while still lucid this morning. It also came up last night as I went to bed and a comment here and there. And on another post for Virgo guidance for this week (literally have one day of social media - I tensed up reading it!).
Interestingly this revelation comes as my next card's energy of The High Priestess comes through
(I'm currently working through the Major Arcana to gain an understanding of tarot, I'm recording short vids only a few mins long on my youtube channel if you are interested in hearing OR want to contribute to the conversation of what they mean for you so we can nut it out together). Also 'coincidentally' I have a breathwork session Saturday with a beautiful Venusian Goddess and a medium guidance appointment this afternoon.
I feel like I'm going through some kind of preparation for what it is to be (in?) this energy. Back to the trigger.
Why am I on social media so much?
Ego?
I don't think so but an ego mind would trick me into that hahaha! But seriously, I never check to see who's watched it, in fact sometimes I get a little ping when I do notice the views down the bottoms, and I sometimes wonder why some posts get more views than others but it seems to be of an interesting observation. It doesn't need to dictate what I post as I do not post for business so it doesn't matter whether I get one or 100 views.
So to be SEEN then?
Yes this is an aspect for sure (as is this blog, as I wanted to tell more a story surrounding the clips. I do use it as a form of public expression whether it is a sky photo, dancing or some kind of brainwave I've had and want to share. Also I want to be, like an example as there are many people I am friends with that have known and seen be at bad times and with all the work I have done I want to be that example of coming out the other side. Why do I need the validation of being seen. Why the need to show others 'how far I've come'. How do I get to that spot of not needing the external, anything.
It is as simple as simply choosing it? Let's try it.
I Choose to be a sovereign being. (does sovereign mean no community. No it doesn't. In fact I would love to see communities or sovereign harmony, anyway another story).
I Choose to not post anything on social media for attention or distraction. (then what am I posting for? You can post for anything you want, but if you don't know why, then why? Purposed Intent).
Ok still massaging this out, keep going...
Pattern Recognition - attachment to community
There's something else I'm noticing a pattern with regards to reaching out to different people/teachers/leaders/groups etc. The feeling of the need, or attachment to being a part of a community/tribe etc. While I greatly appreciate and acknowledge the bountifulness that it is to be a part of a network for a range of reasons (whether online or physical), the attachment to it is the key here. As well as energy exchange. As well as where am I sacrificing myself for others or the group. Like a drug addiction need for that regular dopamine rush seeking vs. sacred plant ceremony with purposed intent. For example.
This also brings me to a sense of lack. Where am I lacking in my life that initiates a seeking of engagement with anything external. Yes we live rural, yes we have a small family with no neighbours for miles. Which is what we wanted. So I'm being shown to focus on home and my relationships here. i am definitely guilty of gliding around the house on my own little missions. Which is what I will do, and have been doing and now it is time to step up again. I also feel like I will get more clarity after both these sessions this week, as often this stuff starts to bubble on the surface in the lead up to sessions. And the sacrificial mother wound and this right child-carrying-hip has been giving me grief this last month now. So no surprises there either.
I pulled a card last night for some help pushing through it. Rising Above - I See Only Beauty & Grace. Grace is also the word I chose to work with at the turn of the gregorian year. Not necessarily for the year, but until I had embodied it. So, Am I behaving with Grace through everything that I express? No. Simply No.
Journal Prompts (from cards):
Q. What do I need to do to rise above? Is there a fear that holds me back from rising above my current challenge? (what is my current challenge?). How would my life change if I stepped into my role as a leader, teacher, healer?
This last one in particular flags for me. There is such a huge push/drive out there for this attainment of you gotta be XYZ. I realised quite simply, I already am. I am a leader. I am a teacher. I am a healer. And I have been for some time. To whose standards? Well my own. There is no set rule book or way to do this or carry it out. And it doesn't need to be to the audience of millions. In fact the work I do within my small network of family and friends is huge. The ancestral healing my sister and I are doing has huge ripple effects and it's shown to us with the healing of relationships with those around us. We both see and feel the impact and can't help but correlate the coincidence (as I've said before I don't believe in coincidences).
Back to the energy of The High Priestess. I'll do a full overview at some stage soon after I record The Magician, I love noticing these little remarkable instances that come up as I bring in energies of certain aspects, in this case recording what is tarot is showing me, forcing me (not in a resistance way, more acknowledge), guiding me into where I can play next to aid my journey and this amazement of life and all it has to offer. The High Priestess is wise, understanding, deep knowledge, educated, has pride, egotistical, emotionally unstable and unforgiving. My interpretation is she stands Tall, On Her Own. She is sitting on a throne - weilds power. A mystic, weathered many storms and uses these experiences to help her rule her Kingdom both inside and out.